Melancholy Musings

Where I'm at.

2011-07-22T23:14:00.000-05:00

Walking, stumbling
On these shadowfeet
Toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began

And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standin'
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

There's distraction
Buzzing in my head
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
But I've heard rumours
Of true reality
Whispers of a well-lit way

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standin'
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standin'
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standin'
Every fear and accusation under my feet
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Update

2011-07-22T09:10:00.001-05:00

I have a new boss! Thankful after a year of keeping my head above water that God has brought me a new person to work alongside. Excited to get to know Roger and Cindy Eng of Fremont Nebraska more. Would appreciate your prayers as we learn to work together and love one another. Aaron has been spending his summer doing home repairs before he goes back to school in the fall and now we are preparing for our annual trip to the Okoboji Lakes Bible and Missionary Conference. The theme for this years conference is "Restored, Rejoice!" I cannot tell you how excited I am by this theme. It was a year ago right now that I started down a path into a very difficult year at work, at home and emotionally. I wouldn't trade the year in because the things God has taught me are priceless but oh the hope that God might have a year of restoration planned for us! I pray it is so.

Peace in the mess

2011-04-29T17:50:00.001-05:00

I was so excited to wake up this morning and sit down with my big mug of coffee and hopefully catch a glimpse of Kate Middleton's dress on the today show before my sister-in-law D came to watch the boys for a bit while I worked. But before I had even focused my eyes it became apparent that Ezra J was sick. The thing that gave it away you ask? Yah that would be when he puked all over me at the top of the morning and then continued that fun all. day. long. So there were some "not fun" elements to the day....a whole lot of unsanitary elements and a few really precious cuddle moments too. Now both boys are sleeping and Aaron is graciously picking up take out chinese for us since I was too busy caring for the babe to cook. I am sitting in my 2nd favorite place, my rocking chair (asleep in my bed is my first favorite place), and breathing in the peace. The weekends are so hectic as it is but they get far more hectic when Aaron and I both have responsibilities at my work that I cannot get out of and I have no one to watch the boys (most baby sitters aren't fond of vomit) So I am sitting here wondering how it will all pan out and trying not to worry. Trying to trust God. Days like this make me wish I didn't have to work. Days where I hand sick babies off to other care-givers make me feel trapped....I'm a bad mom to hand the kids off and a bad mom not to pay the mortgage. The responsibilities are heavy and many. I so wish things were different in this crazy world. But they are not, and for now I pursue God and pray that the fruit of the spirit, namely, peace will be more evident in my life amidst all the messiness of it all. 4 outfit changes, 3 loads of laundry, 5 carpet scrubbings definitely equals a messy day. I also want to go edit this post so it is really poetic for you all because thats what bloggers do. But for now, I think I will be at peace and let this post be a mess too : )

A glimmer...

2011-04-27T21:51:00.000-05:00

So if I'm going to be honest with you, I have to say that the days have been very hard for a very long time now. My heart sinks when I hear the first cry every morning from Ezra and know that I have to get up and face the day. Things are hard. Home is hard. Work is hard. Living inside my head is hard. Friends and people I can trust are few. Ok you get the picture. Not throwing a pity party - just setting up my story honestly. I just walked in the door from a long, tiring, discouraging day knowing full well that there is not much hope of life getting easier in the near future and in my mailbox is an unsigned note. I have grown accustomed to hating unsigned notes. Work at a church for awhile (almost any church, I would venture) and you will get a few unsigned notes and most of them aren't of the "encouragement" variety. But the one that came tonight, right when I felt like I could not go on had a simple message of thanks from an unknown person in our body and two gift cards for gas. So whoever you are.....thank you. Your thoughtfulness alone has encouraged me and no doubt, the gas will come in handy as well. And to God, I know that you were the guy who timed all this out...so thank you. I take it as a glimmer of light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. And though I am still daunted by the darkness and know the light could be quite a ways away, thank you for reminding me tonight that it's there. You're there. Please send more glimmers. I need them.

Wednesday

2011-04-27T09:08:00.000-05:00

Wednesdays are my office days. I go in at noon to reconnect with the staff at church for the week (since I usually work from home so I can multi-task raising these boys and working in every spare second). Side note: Its also our subway night. Aaron picks the boys up at his mom's after work and brings them out to my work where we all eat Subway then hurry off to AWANA. Speaking of sandwiches, my meetings are almost always sandwiched with some beautiful little boy time. Right now we're cuddling in my bed watching Veggie Tales. My heart is full because wild Mr. E is cuddling next me. Moms you know what a rare, glorious moment this is when your super active child decides to calm down and lay their head on your lap. I. am. in. heaven. As I look into his face I see that he is starting to lose the baby look. I have mixed emotions that he is growing and will continue to grow more dependent...Feelings of anticipation as I am quite literally desperate for things to get easier in my life and feelings of sadness knowing that I can't get this time back...will I forget his little mannerisms, his little toothless smile? How he feels so small in my arms? Oh brother, now I am crying.

Tonight we go to Sam's AWANA awards ceremony. So proud of that boy, all the verses he learned, and the socialization that occurred at AWANA this year. He's can be shy in a group so AWANA was our Phase 1 of prepping him socially for kindergarten (which doesn't start for a year and a bit). Phase 2 was to be preschool in the fall but I'm having second thoughts on that so we'll see.

Well its about time to start the long process of packing up the car and diaper bag and getting ready for the day so I will end and write again soon.

Has it really been a year?

2011-04-22T14:16:00.005-05:00

Well. I make no promises that I can continue this - but in a rare quiet moment as the boys sleep in (recovering from Easter egg hunts with cousin Timmy yesterday), I thought I should sit down and type my first blog in a year. The year brought many changes that challenged my ability to find time to blog but I am hoping that I may slowly be able to get back into posting some memories and thoughts here for friends and family and because its free therapy.

Early in 2010, Ezra Justice joined us and upon arrival we found him to be quite easy but it didn't take long for him to surprise us with more spunk and fire than we knew a child could possess. Ezra is that child that makes a parent say, "ok, God. we'd like to be done now". He is an absolute joy and I am so excited to see who he becomes and what he does with his life and in the world, but in the meantime, he will require some degree of work!

Not long after we caught our breath from adding a new child to the family we were grieved to find out that my dear friend, boss and co-laborer of 8 years was temporarily stepping down as the Senior Pastor at our church and that "temporary" label changed to "forever" after he took 3 months off and realized he needed more time. The last 6 months brought much grief and growth and grace and now, ready or not, we are taking up faith and hope as we continue into unknown territory at the place I call "work" but that actually permeates every aspect of our lives. God is teaching me so much through this change of plans; he has pulled me out of my routine (a nice word for rut) and though it hasn't been fun, per se, It has been good.

I am short on thoughts and words today as I suffer from what I call a "Sunday Hangover" - its a thing I get on Mondays where my body has to recover from the stress of the previous day and I act like a zombie until usually Tuesday morning when I get the victory and pick myself up by the boot straps and decide to face the week. I hope to write more once I find my bootstraps!

Walk your day with God at your side today, friends.

Sam's 3rd Birthday

2010-03-21T22:04:00.002-05:00

I was shocked to see that I haven't blogged since August! Oh my. Life has been busy.

On Tuesday (March 23) Sam is celebrating his 3rd birthday and so I just completed his birthday DVD of video clips from the past year...thought we'd post it here so friends and family could view it. You've been warned...its long...a mamma just can't edit her child's precious moments out! Enjoy.

Stuff

2009-08-20T09:30:00.004-05:00

I have been SO thankful for the unusually cool summer this year. Just what I needed :) As I type, I have my windows open with a breeze blowing in - it feels like its early October not August. LOVE IT. I am listening to repetitive sounds of staple guns as our whole association is getting re-roofed this month. Our house is next and I am happy since, though I know nothing about roofs, I have a sneaking suspicion we really needed ours redone. Tomorrow is my 20 week ultrasound and we hope to find out baby's gender. We have both names picked out and we're ready to give this babe an identity. My sister Vonda, her husband Aaron, and their son Timothy come up tomorrow as well...along with my parents. We have a weekend of activity planned...I'm tired just thinking of it but super excited nonetheless. Today I am cleaning and cooking in preparation for company and getting my work done for LRC. Aaron is at a teaching conference thing today - his first day back in the routine. For those that don't know the update on his work situation...his boss (who was going to give him full time this year - the whole reason he took the job) got fired at the end of the last school year...the new administrator and the board cannot give him full time so we were bummed to give in and sign a part time contract. BUT, the new administrator was kind enough to schedule Aaron to work full days, every-other-day, instead of the four hours per day he was working last year. He has applied at four school districts to sub on his off days...we're praying this is the solution. He hasn't yet heard back from those districts. This weekend is also my ten year reunion up in BC. This is crazy to me. I am still 19 right? Someone's trickin' me right? I feel 19 err...except for the grey hairs and pregnancy hemorrhoids...did I really just type that?

So I haven't blogged in awhile...mostly because I felt like I got hit by a truck every day for the last 5 months but also because I just have a lot of hurts I'm trying to work through and I didn't want air those emotions for you all...no offense. Someone sent me this song the other day on facebook (shout out Amy H.F.) and it arrived just when I needed it, so I thought I'd post that. How technological of me, right?

Late Edit - I don't know how to post a youtube video...I am too lazy to figure it out....if you want to see the video just go here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfGbcjCVDOs

The last two months

2009-06-25T21:15:00.002-05:00

Oh why do I wait til I have so many updates it feels overwhelming to blog?? Grrr. Here's what has happened in the last two months as near as I can remember:

1. End of May we sang at general council in Kentucky. We had a nice time with my parents.
2. I have pretty much been miserable and sick since the last time I blogged between morning sickness and some other stuff....I have lost 11.5 pounds in four weeks. Baby seems to be growing though so I'm cool if I shrink a little.
3. Started my second trimester today and still have not been to a doctor for a prenatal appt. But I think I decided on one so thats near the top of my to do list. I'm already feeling some light movement which is fun. We should know in about 6-8 weeks what the gender is if baby cooperates at the ultrasound.
4. Our plans for Aaron's part time job to turn into full-time (as promised) was turned upside down when his boss lost his job. Now it does not seem that he will be offered more hours which puts us in a pickle with baby #2 coming. Been here done this. I'm learning to trust. Kinda.
5. I am wrestling with some hurts and things lately...feeling introspective and not wanting to trust people...but on a happy note, I am learning to trust Aaron more amidst it all so thats a very nice outcome.
6. As we look ahead to July, Aaron and I are focusing on trying to have fun with Sam, while Aaron is home a little more often and then both of us are pretty focused on work. I have a long to do list to tackle before we leave for some time away and Aaron needs to get some major lesson planning done for next year. Once August comes we blink and the summer has ended.
7. Late July we will head to Iowa for our annual trip to visit my folks and sing at the Okoboji Lakes Bible and Missionary Conference. We always look forward to this working vacation...even though its busy its always nice to escape reality for a couple weeks.

Thats all...G'night.

Questions Answered

2009-05-05T20:06:00.003-05:00

Ok commenters....

Some of you asked when we're due...January 8ish. Yup, I'm only five weeks but we decided it was going to be hard to keep a secret since I'm already starting to show...I mean, I know its not the baby yet, but nonetheless my belly IS growing. Did any of you other second (or more) timers show really early? We're also leaving on a road trip with my folks in a little over two weeks to sing at the Alliance's General Council - we are sharing a hotel room with my parents and decided the morning sickness would be hard to hide too. I have not yet seen a doctor since I didn't like my previous one from Sam's birth and don't really know who else to go to.. I guess I should get on that. Thanks for the nice words - For those of you who are concerned (some have seemed to be) I know that I complain a lot and that I am easily overwhelmed with just ONE child - and I likely will continue to complain and whine...but Sam has been completely worth the work and fatigue and we know this little one will be too. We are especially excited for him to have a sibling and playmate.

Side note to Tara - that comment was not nice...I thought you'd have more sensitivity since you are the queen of ending up with more kids that you planned ; ) Love you though.

Sam's Video

2009-05-03T21:02:00.004-05:00

I'm gonna be honest I had lots of deep thoughts I had planned to share with you tonight...you know, post church ramblings of what I think the Bride of Christ should look like...but on a lighter note, we decided to post a cute Sam video instead.

Happy Birthday Sam!

2009-03-21T20:26:00.005-05:00

Yesterday we celebrated Sam's 2nd Birthday. We took a trip to the zoo in the rain then had lunch at the zoo's cafe. In the evening we had a family party for Sam at our house and it was perfect. He cried and cried when he went to bed - so disappointed that his day was over. He melts my heart. Several people mentioned that the video wasn't working properly so I have re=uploaded it below - hopefully it will run more smoothly.

The Big Reveal

2009-02-10T13:39:00.004-06:00

I felt dumb taking pictures by myself so I made Porter pose with me. My curls are a little tight still so I mostly pin my hair up for now. Hopefully it will loosen over the week. I'll post more details of our perm adventure later.

I'm not gonna lie...

2009-02-09T21:56:00.002-06:00

...I look like Annie. Got the perm. Not sure about it. Aaron did a fabulous job though - my only concern is that I chose too small of a rod. I used the biggest perm rod - next time I will use the smallest "body wave" rod. So anyways, I am going to wait a couple days for the big reveal b/c I know this bad boy will relax a little. If it doesn't I will be buying some new hats. I am not deterred though. I will do this again. And I will master it. If its the last thing I do.

Ten Updates

2009-02-07T14:11:00.003-06:00

So I'm thinking it might be time for my dream of being a good, consistent, hilarious blogger to die. I clearly am unable to blog more than once a month no matter how hard I try. I am thinking that I should take a hiatus and just start back up when Sam leaves for college. Who knows.

Here is one of my famous, "I haven't blogged in 6 weeks, so now I must present a vague retelling of recent weeks in a short and concise fashion, to catch you all up on our lives" post.

1. Life has been busy. Really busy.
2. Our days are consistently in at least the 20's now so we are feeling the hope of spring. I am seriously way happier when its sunny.
3. Aaron has been notified he will be receiving a contract to teach at Cologne next year. We don't know how many hours but they implied full time. YAY.
4. I have a crown college student doing a practicum (like an internship) with me at work. I'm really enjoying it. She's fantastic.
5. Sam is talking lots more and has an almost obsessive interest in learning the alphabet.
6. Speaking of Sam we are looking ahead to his 2nd birthday next month
7. My brother Sean and his wife stacy are expecting their first baby any week now.
8. Sam and I will be flying to the west coast to spend some time with the rest of my family early next month to celebrate our new nephews arrival and my dad's 60th. We are super sad Aaron can't come due to work commitments but excited for all three of us siblings to be together with my parents. The original Porter 5 haven't all been together in one room since my wedding over 5 years ago.
9. Next week is valentines day. If anyone has some cheap low budget ideas on how to romance a man, let me know. I'm fresh outta ideas.
10. I pulled a muscle in my neck and so I am laying in bed like an old woman with a heating pad. The deterioration that accompanies the 30's is trying to get a foothold in my life a little early. I rebuke it. I WILL have my last 1.5 years of young healthy vibrancy.
BONUS - Aaron came up with a fantastic idea recently. I have been whining that my hair isn't as curly as it was before Sam was born. I have grieved over this a lot. I miss my natural curls. Since Aaron already cuts my hair much of the time, he thinks he's ready to perform a home perm. Woot. We'll post a picture after the deed is done. If its bad news I may have a new short do post perm and that's alright with me too. Nothing ventured nothing gained right?

Thanks Jesi

2009-01-01T19:26:00.002-06:00

Since you became my follower...I mean my blog's follower, I gained two more followers. I think it was your influence! We can overlook the fact that the other two are relatives and kinda have to support me.

His and Hers Highlights of '08 (Also known as, "My Husband Is Too Optimistic")

2008-12-31T00:59:00.007-06:00

Hers:

1. We had a baby in the house in '08. Can you say no sleep?
2. Aaron got fired...by stupid people.
3. Our house value dropped by at least 10 G's
4. Our income dropped by 600 a month
5. A global recession began
6. I got strep throat
7. If Al Franken wins the recount, not one stinking person I voted for will have won.

His:

1. We had a baby in the house in '08. That was so much fun!
2. I changed jobs this year and I like my new one even more!
3. Gas prices dropped a LOT!
4. We're learning to live more frugally.
5. A global recession began...this will provide many opportunities for us to trust God!
6. I didn't.
7. We got new 2" faux wood blinds. They're lovely.

* If you didn't get this post, you don't know us. If you don't know us, consider yourself lucky.

1 Follower

2008-12-31T00:52:00.003-06:00

I just logged in to my blogspot account and I had a notification that I now have 1 follower. I am not sure what that means...but thank you Jesi for becoming my follower. I am not sure if this is really going to be beneficial for me considering my ego issues but I am flattered nonetheless. Someone once told me I'd be a great cult leader...not sure if that means I am a good leader or if it just means I am creepy. Kool aid anyone?

Ezekiel Joel Ribar

2008-12-15T14:03:00.002-06:00

This blog is long overdue. For almost two years, our dear friends and neighbors, the Ribars, have been in the process of adopting. Over the summer they found out who their child was - a BEAUTIFUL son, Ezekiel who was born in the Philippines. On Saturday morning they left to pick him up and from what I hear as of last night they were holding him in their arms. This sacred meeting of parents and child is ALL I have been thinking about for days...it makes me cry at the strangest moments and then giggle in glee at other moments. These two will be AMAZING parents and I am so grateful to God for writing this beautiful story for their lives. Ribars, congratulations on the arrival of your first born son!! We can't wait to meet him. Ok...crying again. I am going to stop.

Ode to TROY!

2008-12-03T09:16:00.005-06:00

Troy:

I got your Christmas card. Thank you. The Christmas picture of your family was lovely. Your seemed somewhat opinionated in the card. I can forgive you for that. I know you are hard to please when it comes to blogging; I realize your wife is somewhat of an overachiever in this area. May I also mention that your blog is maintained by the two of you, and mine is only maintained by little old me? I expect to receive triple brownie points for this entry because not only did I blog, but I blogged about you and I also used a semi colon and they are a super way to show of my english skilz....you ARE a good guy and a wonderful cousin....albeit obnoxious.

Love,

Nikki

November News Flash

2008-11-28T17:02:00.002-06:00

1. My new exercise regimen has taken up my free time...no time to blog. But I've been at it 3 weeks. Down a jeans size. Down 0 lbs.
2. My house is very very messy. I plan to find the carpet sometime before Christmas
3. We are in Iowa - came to help dad recover from getting his "3rd boob" removed, a herniated incision from when he had cancer two years ago and had his kidney removed.
4. We celebrated Thanksgiving with the Esau side in Mt. Lake since we were in the area yesterday.
5. Aaron and I may go to Fireproof tonight while my parents watch Sam. I have one motivation in this: Kirk Cameron.
6. We head home tomorrow to dive head first into Christmas craziness at church and Aaron's school
7. Our anniversary is three weeks away, we are looking into fun dates. This is an exciting prospect since we don't go out very often without Sam.

Get Physical

2008-11-06T08:40:00.004-06:00

So last night I finally gave into a dream of mine last night and got a gym membership. It was VERY hard for me to justify the expense...There is a recession going on for goodness sake! There are children dying in other countries. But I finally decided I needed to do it for myself...I will be a much better mom if I am healthy. I have thought about it for 6 months now - a long time for an impulsive gal like myself. In my life coaching sessions I have set health as one of my goals (physical and emotional health) and I know that working out more intensely will help a ton with both of those areas. Those at home exercise videos just don't keep me motivated. Somehow getting in the car and driving there makes it easy to not back out once you get there! Unfortunately, though, I do not do well with crowds so if a fitness facility gets crowded I am way to scared to go in. I am so happy to have found one that is open late nights (So Aaron can watch Sam while I go - after he's home from working nights at applebees) and is not crowded at the hour.

Long story short, I have a membership and I am happy and OTP is still on baby.

This used to be my playground. This used to be my childhood dream.

2008-11-04T13:53:00.001-06:00

Many of you know, I used to be a songwriter. Not like a fancy pants paid songwriter – just a songwriter by definition: “Songwriter: noun-a person who writes the words or music, or both, for songs”. Then a few things happened. I met Aaron. We became joined at the hip and didn’t have time for introspective things like songwriting. Then Sam happened. Sam was born on March 23, 2007. I haven’t been alone since. Just kidding…kinda. I have been alone, but barely. I don’t even go to the bathroom by myself usually, so its no surprise my introspective creative “words are my playground” times are no longer existent. Then something happened. Enter life coach, Ron. Ron has started to encourage me to take care of myself again and slowly but surely I feel a little of the old me creeping out. But a more mature better version. So it has been fun to start writing again. Seeing the old depressing, pessimistic songs be replaced by still depressing and pessimistic songs but to a lesser degree, has been cool. I am working on one that will remain nameless, not so much to protect its anonymity, but more because I can’t think of a name yet. Anyways it has a cool feel to it. After I wrote it during Sam’s nap the other day, Aaron came home and I said “I wrote a song. It sounds like what would happen if Evanescence, The Little Mermaid, and a middle eastern woman had a baby” Ok that is a strange way of putting it, but really, that’s what it sounds like. I’m kinda digging the flavor it has and I hope I can finish it and find a place to use it…its not really a “churchy” song so that’s ruled out. Maybe on an album someday. A kinda funny side-note: I was sound checking my microphone on Sunday and so I started singing my new song. Our guitar player Luke said “ Hey, that sounds like Evanescence!!” so I said, “does it also sound like the little mermaid” and he said “yeah, but it sounds more like Evanescence”. Anyways, I was glad to know I was a good judge of my music genres though he did not mention it sounding like a middle eastern woman…so who knows. That’s all for now.

Quick Updates and Grandiose Promises

2008-11-02T17:16:00.002-06:00

Hi friends! Our crazy month has ended and we have entered what we believe is going to be a much quieter month. A quick recap of October:

* we drove to Indiana to celebrate the life and passing of Aaron's wonderful grandpa Vernon
* we celebrated my grandpa's 89th birthday and grandma and grandpa's 61st wedding anniversary. Good times.
* we had a super duper time at Aaron's fall concert at Cologne Acadmey entitled "Harvest Harmony". I accompanied the kids and
the rocked. We look forward to their "holiday" (dare we say christmas at a public school?) concert in December entitled "The Big Chill".
* we competed with some friends in the club 3 degrees and lived to tell about it. Though I will not tell about it here. Still licking my wounds...ok I really just said that for effect. I'm getting over it.
* we took Sam trick or treating and got some good candy, but frankly, not nearly enough. We need ramp up our operation next year.
* we were the proud proud relatives of Troy and Tara, my cousins who spoke and our church this morning. What a cool deal it was to have them at our little old church. They are my role models for goodness sake. This was technically a November festivity to those take issue with lying.

Ok here is the grandiose promise: I want to blog more. Now that thing have slowed down and now that my life coach Ron is helping me carve out more time for myself, I hope to sneak away to the Mocha Monkey and do things - any things that don't include diapers and leggos and dishes....so perhaps blogging will be a fun outlet for a girl like me who likes words. Thanks to my lack of commitment to my blog I fear my readership has dwindled but that is ok. Because I think I've still got Troy reading - you faithful man you. And, speaking of faithful men, I can probably convince Aaron to read this thing once in awhile. Happy November! Fun posts coming soon.

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-15T23:16:00.002-05:00

We arrived home last night after 14 hours traveling back from Indiana. Whoever said that was a 10-12 hour drive clearly didn't have a 19 month old in the back seat. Not sure if you realize, but toddlers don't generally like to be restrained. The good news is, though, that we indeed made it back and Sam is much better today - though he about had a fit when we put him in his car seat tonight to make a 5 minute drive to Target - I guess he thought we were taking him on another road trip.

The funeral was lovely and it was so good to be with Aaron's family. We so rarely see them, that I feel that we've barely gotten to know each other. It was really nice to spend more time with them. We were reminded how much "happier" funerals are when they are for older people who lived full and happy lives for Christ as opposed to some of the funerals we've been to where young people died tragically. We enjoyed celebrating grandpa's life instead of mourning it. Aaron sang beautifully and powerfully and was also a pallbearer. I was mom extraordinaire chasing Sam and trying to keep him quiet at the viewing and funeral. We watched the whole service from right outside the sanctuary - I just didn't buy that Sam was going to keep quiet. I was right. Through the much of the service he ran in circles like a madman yelling "dadda dadda dadda dadda dadda dadda....." Then he pooped and begged for an apple. Not exactly funeral appropriate behavior.

Aaron went back to work today only to find out that amidst all the craziness of grandpa's death and leaving town he somehow missed the memo that school is out early for MEA this week. So he has tomorrow and Friday off....we have a long to do list to tackle but something tells me we will sleep in and relax and then blink and the weekend will be over. I suppose that would be ok too.

I can't keep my eyes open. More later.

Vernon J. Petersen

2008-10-10T17:15:00.004-05:00

In the night last night, Aaron's grandfather, Vernon Petersen passed away. I have only known him for the seven years I've been with Aaron but in that time, here's what I learned about him:

He was a good man who loved God
He had a tender heart and a soft spot for his family
He made a mean sausage stuffing
He really dug peanut butter and had to sneak it when Grandma put him on a diet
For some strange reason he liked pickled herring...ewww
He loved the old hymns and watching the gaithers
He was a featured soloist in the Senior Saints choir at his church
He really wanted his last name name carried on by a great grandson....we helped him with that one.
He called his son, Phil, every Sunday morning to wish him well and pray for him before he went to preach
He loved his wife Wilma dearly...even if it was in the old-fashioned- "iron my shirt woman!" sort of way
He suffered much and from what I know of his last hours, he is very busy in heaven with multiple appointments with old friends and his new rigorous swimming schedule.

We love you Grandpa...we'll take care of Grandma for you!

October Road

2008-10-05T20:04:00.002-05:00

This month is a bit overwhelming for me...we have lots going on...I should have prefaced that statement, however, by reminding me readers that I am easily overwhelmed. An overwhelming month for me, very well may be another man's vacation. My cousin Tara, for exampl, aka "Superwoman" raises 7 kids (5 of which are 7 and under) in Haiti while also doing cool things to help the people there and pointing them to Jesus. If my cousin was able to go at my pace for a day she would probably drop on her knees and praise Jesus, or maybe she wouldn't even know what to do with herself...anyways, overwhelming is way relative.

Some of our upcoming October highlights include:

1. Competing in The Battle Of The Bands at Club 3 Degrees with some friends
2. Going to Iowa to visit my parents and do some recording with the aforementioned band.
3. Two showers for our dear friends the Ribars as they await the arrival of their son, Ezekiel
4. Grandpa Esau's 89th birthday (you go gramps!) and grandma and grandpa's wedding anniversary...not sure which one...lots I"m sure.
5. Life is getting busy at church with the holidays approaching
6. I am vowing to really get back in the weight loss routine this month...I'm hoping to lose 10 lbs...it might a bit steep of a goal. We'll see.
7. Halloween - Sam will be a monkey, Porter will be a Pumpkin, Aaron and I are going as twenty-something parents, manipulating their child after every house, for free candy.

Happy October, I hope to write a little more often this fall.

Before September Ends...

2008-09-26T21:58:00.003-05:00

I suppose I owe you one more update.

1. Aaron continues to love his job. (and I love the stories he comes home with...today a boy wet his pants in class...and a girl decided that she wants to call Aaron "dad" instead of "Mr. Petersen")
2. My strep throat is gone as are my amoxicillin pills.
3. It looks like today was the last day in the 80's for the year...the news is salve to my soul.
4. I have been weary caring for Sam and trying to get all my church work done while Aaron works days at the school and afternoons and evenings at the restaurant. I'm a bit burned out. My house suffers the consequences...my relationships do too.
5. Tomorrow is homecoming at Crown, following Worship Team practice, we'll head over to the football game and then we're getting together with my old college roommate, Rachel and her husband AJ and Sam gets to play with their daughter Ava who is only a month older than him! Can't wait!
6. God has been super faithful in caring for us in our first month of lowered income. We have received two unexpected checks this month. We are praying there are only three more months of this - the principal of Aaron's school hopes to be able to offer him more hours second semester...we'll see.
7. OTP (our diet plan: operation tiny petersen) almost fizzled... but as our "skinny" pants were getting tighter instead of looser, we decided we need to get motivated again. I REALLY want to lose 30 lbs. I do not feel motivated yet, but I'm working on it.
8. In super fun, crazy news...I have a new lifecoach, his name is Ron. He has his work cut out for him. All the staff at church are going to be involved in this personal coaching gig for the next year. Can't wait to be analyzed.....should be good times. I think I'm more excited about being able to say I have a life coach, than actually doing the coaching. It harkens me back to my Starting Over days... I loved that show.

Back to school, back to school to prove to dad I'm not a fool

2008-09-03T13:39:00.003-05:00

School is session and Aaron is really enjoying his new job. He has lots of work cut out for him creating his curriculum this year but then in the future he can use his previous curriculum as a framework for future years and simply tweak things to keep them culturally relevant and fresh. He and I have had tons of fun brainstorming ideas and are excited for him to implement our fun ideas this year. So far this experience has been in stark contrast to his previous teaching position. In his previous one, he wasn't given the authority to make decisions about the music program, so he had to submit to do things the way other people wanted him to. Its always easier to carry out your own vision/dreams/goals and it seems like that is exactly what he'll be able to do at C.A. I know its only been two school days, but we're encouraged! I had prayed that Aaron would be surprised at how much he enjoys elementary and he came home yesterday saying how this age is surprisingly fun! We await a phone call from a local restaurant saying if they are going to hire Aaron for a several nights a week - if they call, that will be our solution to our income problem for the year....we pray they call, then we pray for enough tips to pay the bills and put food on the table. The principal at C.A. seems to think that by next year Aaron will have more hours there, so that will take some of the stress off the budget too :) I hope to type more about Aaron's job soon. But until then, check out these pictures of what we all did to decorate his classroom. Thanks Lauren, Phil, & Deb!

Strep Throat VS Nikki + Amoxicillin

2008-09-03T13:11:00.004-05:00

Hey all, Sorry for the blogging hiatus. I have been bedridden for four days and I'm ecstatic to be out of bed to tell about it all now. On Saturday morning I woke up feeling a little sick - but that's not uncommon for me at this time of year...my fall allergies are the worst. We went to our dear friends, the Ribar's, house for an adoption training day since their beautiful son Ezekiel will be moving home to MN from the Philippines within a few short months. We had a wonderful morning being trained on Ezekiel's unique needs and how we can best react to them. I left the training morning on the early side to go home and get a nap in. I slept 4 hours and woke up sick enough to know I needed a doctor - of course by that time it was Saturday at 5 pm and every clinic we knew of was closed. I was in tears thinking I would be waiting til Tuesday to see a doctor (Monday was Labor Day). I had no time to find a replacement for church on Sunday morning and since we had an outdoor celebration service, I figured I could sing without spreading germs about and without coming into close proximity of anyone. Singing Sunday was probably a huge mistake. I had a high fever and then to try to get up in front of a couple hundred people and sing in the hot sun just isn't really the brightest idea. I lived through it but it was tremendously difficult. We went straight to a walk in clinic on Sunday after church, that we found at our beloved Target. (We HIGHLY recommend these clinics if you get sick on weekends or holidays) I was able to get antibiotics and I guess the rest is history. I think I slept about 18 hours a day for four days straight. I didn't get told hold my baby boy since I was in quarantine in the basement :) It was a rough weekend but I am so thankful to be feeling really good again. My spirits are soaring today with gratefulness for antibiotics and the awesome cool/fall weather!

A HUGE thank you to all the people that cared for Sam when I couldn't. You all COULD have been scared of the Petersen germs but instead you sacrificed for us and I am so grateful. THANK YOU RIBARS AND PETERSEN FAMILY. And thank you Aaron for being mom, dad, housekeeper, cook, and breadwinner while I was down for the count.

It's Potty Time At the Petersen's

2008-08-28T16:42:00.002-05:00

Sam is rocking the world of potty training. If it wasn't for his mom who finds diaper's so convenient, I think he'd be barely wetting his diaper each day....but I get distracted and forget to help him go. But almost every time he is assisted in taking his diaper off and giving it a try on the potty chair, he succeeds. At our house, you get 2 chocolate chips for #1 and 4 chocolate chips if you go #2. TMI? Sorry. Today was the first day Sam came and told me he needed to go. I hope he keeps that up. I have some really cute dino briefs just sitting in his drawer longing to be worn. Little boys in their little boy underwear are just so stinking cute. Is that bad to say? Will someone take that wrong and arrest me??

A Night To Remember

2008-08-27T21:17:00.002-05:00

Nights like this don't come around very often. God must be smiling down on me tonight. All my favorite events have collided into this one, glorious evening.

1. It is raining.
2. It will continue to rain all night according to weather.com
3. It is thundering.
4. Sam was asleep by 9pm
5. I am now in bed at 9:19
6. I will now turn on Delilah and just relax.

It is the perfect night.

Melmacnotmc

2008-08-27T20:50:00.003-05:00

This is a post devoted solely to my friend and freshman year roommate Melissa MacDonald. Even tho' we were roommates, I cannot remember if you capitalize the "D" in Donald - but I do know it is mac, not mc. Anyways, she is in town visiting family and was kind enough to stop by. I had a really nice time with her but the real purpose of this post is to say, "Melissa, I am sorry my dog pooped on the front porch and that you then stepped in it. I feel really bad."

The irony of it all, though, is that strange and unusual things always happen to Melissa. There is really never a dull moment with her. If you are married or female and would like to read more about Melissa's antics, go to her blog: www.melmacnotmc.blogspot.com. If you are a single male comment on this post and I'll get you in touch with her. I don't really think I've ever had a single male reader on my blog but hey, I dream big.

Speedy Update

2008-08-21T22:03:00.002-05:00

1. Above is Aaron's new place of employment
2. He is still looking for another part time job. We hope that will fall into place soon.
3. He starts at the school Monday
4. School begins Sept 2
5. He likes his new boss.
6. Sam napped 20 minutes today. I believe he should have napped longer.
7. We went to the park this evening and almost got kidnapped
8. If you are either of the scary men in the cars that were watching us, I did not write down your license plate #s and I could not pick either of you out of a lineup. Nor do I remember the colors or make and models of your vehicles. So please leave us alone. I am sorry I seem to have gotten in the way of your deal.
9. I find bagels with strawberry cream cheese delightful.

...just in time

2008-08-15T16:34:00.003-05:00

So it looks like God saw how pathetic I was yesterday and decided to rescue us from this. Well...thats probably not how it went down...but I was pretty pathetic in the last few days. Aaron lost his old job coming up on 5 months ago. And today he got a call for a part time job (20 hours/week) and I think he will accept. He doesn't know any of the details...we just know that it is work. And he needs work. The principal of the school called and left a message today saying they are interested in Aaron if he is still interested in the job. Aaron hasn't spoken to him in person yet so we don't know the much. We do know he would be teaching K-5 general music which I think will be a good fit. It will be new for him having done the whole band and choir thing a lot more in his previous job but kids absolutely love Aaron and that will hopefully make his classroom really fun. Ironically Aaron was actually originally turned down after his interview at this place....we thought they had hired someone else but apparently the reason they turned him down was due to a budget issue. The principal said there was an influx in enrollment and so he was able to now offer Aaron the job. Yippee. We're excited to get this ball rolling and find out when Aaron is going to be teaching at the school so he can then start shopping around for some supplemental income so he is working closer to full time and so that hopefully he can match his old income since that's the budget we are used to sticking to. Thanks everyone for praying for us. You deserve and award if you continued reading in spite of my depression. I cannot promise my depression will automatically go away, but man, this sure helps.

My parents should arrive here any minute. I have called in the reserves to care for Sam. Once they arrive I plan to hand Sam off and just lay on the couch lazily for at least 37 minutes. I am exhausted.

Debbie Downer

2008-08-14T22:07:00.003-05:00

I know its not cool to be a Debbie Downer. I know optimism is much more attractive. I know that joy is one of the fruits of the spirit. I know that everyone else's lives are still going on and they can't stop to pick me up off the road. But I am not a big fan of fake and things are SO NOT OK in my life right now. I don't even know where to begin to emerge from the dark cloud I've been in for 5 months. Crap.

Vegetable State of Mind

2008-08-14T11:37:00.004-05:00

So I have veggies on the brain for two reason:

1. Eggplant is wonderful. Aaron's parents called several days ago to say they missed Sam and so they offered free babysitting services so that they could spend some time with Sam Sam while we get out and have "adult time". It was a strange and unfamiliar phenomenon. So much so, that we argued through the first 20 minutes of adult time. Eventually things cooled down and my Buca Mio eggplant pamesan arrived at the table. Suddenly, all was right with the world. The portions were huge and I just finished the second half of my eggplant for lunch today. I dig leftovers.

2. I am currently reading Phil Vischer's book, "Me, myself, and Bob" and completely enjoying it. I am on page 70 right now and as a general rule, if I make it to page 70 of any given book, its a good book. If by page 12 I'm not captivated, I rarely have the discipline to finish a book. I highly recommend this read and if I put on a VeggieTales video to occupy Sam while I read, I kinda get this veggie surround sound deal going on. You know, all veggies - all the time. If I were coordinated enough to listen to veggies, read about veggies, and even eat my eggplant all at the same time....well I'm not, so nevermind. But it would be cool. Just saying. Does anybody know if any of the VeggieTales movies have an eggplant in them? Lemme know.

Ode To Timothy

2008-08-12T16:47:00.003-05:00

Because I have the greatest nephew in the world and because I miss him to the moon and back, the creatures (Porter, Sam) and I have decided to write him a little poem. Please note, not a lot of time went into this masterpiece.

Ode To Timothy:

Timothy James
He's a little strange
He throws fireballs at Aaron
But he's always been carin'

Sam calls him Mimmy
Auntie nikki prefers Timmy
Porter doesn't speak
But she thinks he's pretty neat.

We're glad you're home safe
But we wish you could stay
We look forward to next summer
Its so far off...what a bummer :(

We love you Timothy!

Auntie Nikki, Uncle Aaron, Sam & the beags.

Wrapping Summer Up

2008-08-09T23:05:00.002-05:00

For 27 years I have wrapped up almost every summer spending time at Okoboji Lakes Bible and Missionary Conference in Northwest Iowa. For about 8-10 years I have had the privilege of assisting with the music at the conference in once capacity or another. This was Aaron's 6th year joining me at the conference and standing next to me on the stage. We had a great time once again. We had glimpses of refreshment and were drawn to several speakers and the stories they shared. For the most part I think we are returning home this week tired. We had really hoped Aaron would have a job before we left but it just didn't happen. He has an interview for a long term sub job Monday morning in Bloomington and we're guardedly excited about it. If you think of it pray for a good interview and all that entails - peace, charisma, communication... we know he has the skill, so that just has to be communicated somehow.

We are all four in bed (yes the dog too) watching the wiggles "wiggly party" on youtube.com. I especially like how the little kid is a baritone. Its pretty sweet - check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7iQTlMdt8c&NR=1

We sing one more time tomorrow. We're doing a duet and it should be a fun way to go out if I don't let my nerves get the best of me. I controlled my nerves the best ever this year - even ever so slightly enjoying singing those duets and solos - that is SO not me so it was kinda cool to see that slowly but surely God is helping me conquer those fears and insecurities. Hopefully we were able to communicate the messages of the songs more effectively now that my emotions didn't get in the way so much. Following the service I think we will pack up and head home to get a good nights sleep before Aaron's interview.

My eyes are fuzzy and I can barely see straight I'll type more in the week to come.

Psalm 70

2008-07-30T23:06:00.002-05:00

God! Please hurry to my rescue!
God, come quickly to my side!
Those who are out to get me—
let them fall all over themselves.
Those who relish my downfall—
send them down a blind alley.
Give them a taste of their own medicine,
those gossips off clucking their tongues.

Let those on the hunt for you
sing and celebrate.
Let all who love your saving way
say over and over, "God is mighty!"

But I've lost it. I'm wasted.
God—quickly, quickly!
Quick to my side, quick to my rescue!
God, don't lose a minute.

Saturday 12:30am

2008-07-26T00:26:00.003-05:00

So here I sit. Job hunting for Aaron. To my right, a Target, dollar bin children's turtle bowl full of sugar snap peas. To my left, Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. At my feet, Porter. She's so warm and cuddly. No new job listings but I just keep refreshing my screen obsessively. Sam is asleep. Gus is as well. Aaron just got home from work. He may be plucking his Italian eyebrows so they do not look like those furry caterpillars. I have a lot of things I'm worrying about....I'm going to go to bed and cast all my cares. If this is a test haven't I passed yet? No thats sarcasm, because I really am not fit to pass any "God-test". I hope he passes me anyways.

Today: A soliloquy

2008-07-25T17:50:00.003-05:00

I do not know how to spell soliloquy, but it makes me feel smart to use it anyways. I was so thankful the UPS man came to deliver those office supplies for work. I should have ordered them days ago...but Office Max and UPS came through and got me the goods in time. What a drag that Aaron didn't get called back about the interview - they said they'd call by today either way. Liars. I will have to be patient. I can't believe we leave for Okoboji in five days. I must pack. Soon. I think I'm getting the hang of this two dog thing. I will be a pro by the time the Ribars return. I'll have to ask them when they return. I have forgotten. I'm glad I got a little color while playing ring around the rosy in the kiddie pool today. I like to have color - but just a light dusting of color...now that cancer got to close to us. People will freak out when they hear that Sam went on his potty chair THREE TIMES today! Crazy. Porter's will do anything for a couple chocolate chips. Wow, I can't believe Sam is sitting still right now. Its the first time all day. I hope it lasts. I am low on patience by 6pm every day. My tummy kinda hurts....granola and mac n cheese is a strange dinner menu. I hope people post comments to this post. I like comments. They make me not so lonely when Aaron is working late. What a day. Three hours til bedtime. I think I can, I think I can.

Melancholy Me

2008-07-24T17:00:00.002-05:00

Anyone who truly knows me knows that I'm not the most optimistic person. Though I try not to think of it as pessimism...but more like realism. Or better yet I'm just melancholy. Melancholy is much more of an artsy introspective place of being as opposed to bitter and disgruntled. I think I like being artsy-sad better than crabby-sad.

I used to be able to enjoy my sad days in true melancholy form. Listening to a little Carole King while enjoying a mocha and reading on my bed. I can't enjoy such selfish moments anymore, but I still feel the same way on the inside...I just wish I could relish in it more. You know take time to feel. To think.

I am thankful that right now, I can at least have a quiet, tantrum-less, bark-less moment in my day. Sam is napping as are Porter, and her friend Gus, a schnoodle who is staying with us for a week. I'm a little mad that the rain that was forecasted decided not to make an entrance today. It would have made my melancholic day complete.

My mind is heavy with thoughts of "what - if" for this fall...prayers that Aaron will find a job. Moments of telling God I'm done praying because He knows what I need and He's heard me ask since March so unless he is forgetful, and I don't think he is, I shouldn't need to ask him 1,047 times. So then I resign myself to just sit and wait. We also just got word that Aaron's grandpa isn't doing well. I am sad that Aaron is at Applebees right now trying to be happy when he's not. I am sad that all I can think of is "how are we going to afford to go to the funeral if he passes away?" Talk about selfish.

Life is funny. Wish I could figure it all out. Its a good thing I don't have more time or I probably would be attempting to figure it out...and I don't think its meant to be all figured out. I read Ecclesiastes last night. Yeah - the author of that might have been a little melancholy too. Join the club.

PFR

2008-07-17T20:27:00.004-05:00

We had a blast at the Porter family reunion - mostly just hanging out and talking and eating with friends and family we only see every so often. The highlight of the weekend was when Aaron decided to get a tattoo - an early birthday gift from me. This picture shows the tattoo - which is much darker than it will be once it heals. I'll also try to post the song that inspired Aaron to get the tattoo if I can find it on youtube or something.

We have a busy weekend ahead so I'm trying to be productive and brace for that. Sam is being a big ol' handful tonight so productivity might just be wishful thinking.

I'll try to post more soon!

OOH Heaven is a place on earth.

2008-07-06T14:16:00.005-05:00

This month we are celebrating our Costco membership renewal date - this year we have upgraded to the Executive membership. Yeah, we're pretty important. I can't wait til we get our new cards and I hope that I get a new picture because in my last one, I look like Harry Potter and Aaron looks a little like he has Downs Syndrome, which would be ok, but he doesn't. Perhaps if I ever get a scanner I will prove to you that I am not lying about our pictures. Anyways, in honor of the momentous event I wanted to share with you what Costco means to me.

When I picture what heaven will be like, I picture Costco. Isles and isles of bulk food. Twice the food, half the price. I think of muffins the size of small children and chocolate cake with delicious filling. I think Kirkland brand everything - diapers, wipes, shampoo. I think of how economic it feels to purchase our dog food in 50 pound bags. C.S. Lewis once said, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I'll give him that...but when I am at Costco I feel pretty at home. I like to stand on the larger than normal carts and have Aaron push me really fast through the isles - its kinda like a motorcycle but I don't have to wear a helmet and then on Saturdays we get free samples as Aaron pushes me and my cart past the sample people. Aaron takes every sample...but I am selective. I must choose my calories wisely because I know what's at the finish line: the food court. Only in Costco and heaven can you get a KOSHER HOT DOG AND A MEDIUM DIET COKE FOR 1.50. I mean come on! How cool is that. My favorite item at the food court, though is their pepperoni pizza. I kid you not, one piece is approximately the size of an NIV study Bible. Yummy. This is a topic that should be expounded on - but it is nap time. I will revisit this because it is worth the time and effort. I love you, Costco.

Have You Ever?

2008-07-05T23:36:00.003-05:00

"Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?" Brandy (AKA Moesha) and I have. So what happens when you love two people??? I am just not sure about the idea of "one true love" because there are times where you love two people - you just love them differently. No, I have not replaced Aaron, but I am in the process of transitioning Greg Page (Yellow Wiggle) out of my heart and welcoming Sam Moran, his replacement into my heart and home. Part of me feels like I should be grieving Greg's departure more. Am I cheating? Have I lost all my loyalty? Is this just a fling? I am sad he is sick. I am sad he is leaving...but with that comes the joy of Sam Moran's arrival....and it softens the pain. We have been big fans of Sam since he had a faux mustache and sang backup in "Wiggle Around The Clock" and by the time we saw him in "Getting Strong" quite frankly, we were in love. For one, his name is Sam. We like Sams. Our Sam, likes seeing other people named Sam. Our favorite activities include reading "Green Eggs and Ham" and watching Sam Moran...simply because both of them use the name "Sam" a lot. Sam Moran has such a soothing voice. And a nice slow vibrato. I think I prefer it to Greg's, but I am not sure. I certainly prefer it to Anthony's talk singing, though he is silly and he is a great drummer so that makes up for his weak vocals. Sam has kind eyes and He was born in 1978 - so he is pretty close to my age, which is also cool because we probably both listened to "I Swear" while laying on our beds daydreaming about our classroom crushes. But Greg....Greg, is tall and strong. Dependable. Greg has history with the show. Greg always seemed to have everyone organized and under control. I appreciate his leadership...his entrepreneurial skills. So...I resign myself to loving them both. Caring for them both. And I try to brush the guilt aside and simply take joy in having the chance to get to know them both. Better to have loved and lost right?

It's been too long...

2008-07-03T19:19:00.002-05:00

Wow, time flies - now its been two weeks since my last post.

Ok, someone asked what I've been so vague about for the last few months so here's the scoop: I told you Aaron lost his job...well there was potential that we were going to move away from Waconia to a town where we had job offers at a church and school, but after lots of prayer and major turmoil (as you clearly sensed from reading the blog) we decided to stay put. There were lots of factors effecting our decision including not being able to leave our beloved friends from Living Rock, the horrible housing market on the sellers end and other things too that I won't go into. We are glad that the indecision is behind us because it was a huge burden. The only thing that wasn't a relief when we made this decision, is that it is back to the drawing board for Aaron and his job hunt. He has put in two application at schools he wasn't too excited about within an hour radius of here - but never heard back. We just found a part time music teaching opportunity very close to home that seems to be exciting to us. Aaron plans to apply first thing Saturday morning via snail mail. Although we would prefer part time, we have agreed that this late in the summer it would just be good to teach - period...even if its not full time.

Sam and I are home tonight. Sam has been swimming in our kiddie pool on the deck twice tonight and after the third round of begging I gave him a bath instead of swimming - I was not up for battling the mosquitos anymore today.

We are super excited for a holiday tomorrow but even more excited for NEXT WEEKEND - the Porter family reunion! I am so happy for the first time in six years to be going for the whole reunion! For as long as I've been at Living Rock I've been scared to ask for too many Sunday's off and so I go to the first day and a half of the reunion and then Aaron and I generally drive back in the night Saturday to be back for church. I decided this year that I would ask for the day off. We usually are only gone two Sundays a year (except last year when I was in the hospital with Sam) and both of those are Sundays where we are singing or leading worship elsewhere - not really vacation days so we are especially excited to have a Sunday where we have NO RESPONSIBILITY.

You may also be wondering why I have not mentioned OTP lately - perhaps you thought we gave up - and perhaps you were right...but the good news is, after a small break we are back at it. I am down 20 still (I had gotten as low as 25 down) and Aaron I think is still in the 25-30 range....we just started yesterday again so I will fill you in on any successes we may have.

Daytime Emmy's, Living Rock Church & Marching Bands

2008-06-20T19:32:00.002-05:00

I am super pumped for a busy yet wonderful weekend!

Tonight I am cleaning the house while watching the Daytime Emmy's. I am depressed that the guy who plays Max Brady on Days of Our Lives didn't win - but right now, during the commercial break, I am working to get over it and move on so I can continue to enjoy the show. Next up is the awards for Children's shows - Sam will be pumped about that. He likes Barney and the Wiggles - don't know if they are nominees yet. Aaron is working at applebees right now so Sam and I are having a date night. We had one last night too. We watched Father of the Bride II and ate popcorn together.

Tomorrow evening we are going to get out in the sun and fresh air and enjoy the Lake Waconia Band Festival - wahoo. This is one of Aaron's favorite annual events since he is a Waconia Marching Band alum. This will be our third year going. Two years ago we attended with two of our favorite LDS missionaries, Elder Kelher and Elder Griffin (shout out boys!) and last year we went with Sam and my parents. Tomorrow we're going to party the night away with our friendy-neighbors the Ribars.

UPDATE the best children's show nominees are Bindy Erwin, Curious George, The Backyardigans, Greatest Inventions with Bill Nye, and Sesame Street.

Ok...I was going to tell you about my fun fun day on Sunday until I realized you probably don't care about my calendar.

I am too distracted right now anyways....I'll write more later. I think I will fill you in on our craziness that we have alluded to recently but not full disclosed.

Have a good night.

Busted

2008-06-16T23:22:00.003-05:00

So my friend Rachel totally busted me for not taking this quiz she tagged me on so here goes nothing:

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Yes.
Where were you last night? Hmm...bouncing off the walls with the Ribars...doing gymnastics and other crazy antics.
What is today's date? 6/16/08
Who was the last person to call you baby/babe? Aaron
When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout? Yes and then never fail we do something wrong and the light starts to flash and someone has to come assist us.
Anyone crushing on you? Aaron would say he is...but I don't know, I'm pretty tough to get along with.
What is your relationship status? Married.
Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes lots of people. I get to hear several hundred people sing loudly at me each Sunday - its kinda cool.
Has anyone ever given you roses? Yes
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? Probably not, but I am tougher than I let on.
Who do you text the most? Hmm... I don't have texting in my plan so I use it very rarely because I am cheap.
How do you make your money? Making music for Jesus.
First person to text today? Didn't text.
What is your favorite color? Black.
What color are your eyes? Olive green kinda.
What is a compliment you receive often? hmm....I dunno.
How tall are you? 5 feet 9 inches.
Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? Probably Aaron. He tells me every day.
Do you like your parents? Yes.
Do you secretly like someone? Hmm yes but he is too old for me.
Why did your last relationship end? I dated a guy in college right before I met Aaron...just wasn't meant to be.
Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? Probably Aaron.
Where is the furthest place you've traveled? Malaysia and Hong Kong.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? Sleep.
Do you look more like your mom or your dad? I not only look like my dad...I am my dad.
How long does it take you to shower? 2-20 minutes...depends how much time I have.
Are you flexible? Not like I used to be.
What did you do on New Years Eve? Hung out with the Ribars.
Was your mom there? Uhh...no.
Can you speak any other language than English? I took diction class for many languages...which means I can pronounce many languages appropriately (or at least I could in college) but I don't necessarily know what I'm saying. I took french, german, italian, latin, and a little spanish diction.
What is the last letter of your middle name? e
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I had a night that was interrupted by a crying baby so many times I don't actually know what the grand total was.
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes
Are you scared of flying? Not scared...but not 100% at ease either.
What do you sleep in? That varies.
Do you like funny people or serious people? I enjoy funny people but I like deep friendships too. I am not into shallow.
What are you listening to? Aaron watching his soaps.
What jewelry do you wear all the time? My wedding ring and my watch (a 4th anniversary gift from Aaron) and my nose ring.
Is the last person you kissed older than you? Nope - Aaron is younger and so is Sam a lamb. Though a 60 year old kissed me on Sunday and he's a pretty cool dude.
Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash? um...I am too cool for those social networking sites.
Do you have a favorite item of clothing? jeans and black shirts. Can't get enough of 'em.
Do you like messages or comments better? depends on the content of the message.
Last movie you saw in theaters? I can't even remember.
Last thing you ate? Pauly's burger, salad and fries.
What was last thing you drank? A glass of iced tea.
Are you happy right now? Fairly happy for a manic depressive melancholic.
If you could have one thing right now what would it be? Wow...that's tough...a free housekeeper.
Who makes you happiest right now? Aaron, Sam, Porter, Rachel and Dave.
What were you doing at midnight last night? painting.
Are you left handed? No.
What was for dinner tonight? Pauly's.
What is the last thing you thought about? How my husband was so manly when he fixed the garage tonight. Now he's doing dishes. Also manly.
When is your birthday? Sept 18.
Do you want to get married & have children one day? I am married, and will probably have at least one more child someday.

2008-06-12T16:22:00.002-05:00

As I type, 2000 miles away people are saying goodbye to Rita. My mom and dad are there - dad might be speaking this very second. Its always a mix of emotions when you lose someone and can't be there for the memorial. In some ways you don't have to engage the sorrow as much, but on the other hand, its hard to get the closure you would if you were close by and had a grasp on the reality of it all. Oh what a month.

We had the opportunity to see our good good friends Jeff & Katie (Severson) Winne! Woot! Its always a joy to goof off with them.

My emotions are so bipolar - as are my thoughts on our future. I am fed up with myself and my thoughts. I haven't worried as much today - that is a blessing. Worry is something thats hard to control - for me it comes VERY naturally.

Sam is napping now and I should use the silence to my advantage so I'm going to go rest.

Transitions

2008-06-10T20:39:00.002-05:00

Its been several days since I posted last. Lots has happened.

Our dear friend Rita Lihaven passed away on Friday night. I got the call just before walking into the graduation ceremony and our last night at Bethany Academy. I didn't attend the ceremony once I got the call but rather sat out in the lobby waiting for Aaron to be done and calling my friend Kelly, Rita's daughter, to tell her how much I love her and how much I loved her wonderful mom.

Aaron spent some time this weekend also interviewing for a new job. We are praying for direction and financial provision during this time of uncertainty.

On Monday we tried to leave our cares behind and we accompanied our best friends the Ribars to Valleyfair to celebrate Dave's 30th birthday. We had a good time and got lots of exercise in which we cancelled out by eating a corn dog and diet coke among other things.

Today it was back to thinking and praying and planning for the future. What a time of turmoil this spring has been. On a happy note, Dave Ribar and Aaron are down in our garage right now trying to install a new part that we hope works and will save us the hundreds of dollars we would have had to pay if we had to replace the whole thing. I'm crossing my fingers that this works!

Sam is screaming like a crazy man. Better run.

Coffee Pots, Tornado Warnings and Summer Break

2008-06-05T22:24:00.002-05:00

1. My coffee pot is broken. Way sad.
2. We are in a tornado warning til 5 am. If you know me, this means I will not be sleeping tonight.
3. Tomorrow is the big day...the day we close the Bethany Academy chapter of our lives. What a strange mix of pain and joy.

Hello Lord - by Sara Groves

2008-06-05T22:22:00.000-05:00

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, 'cause
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

One day at a time

2008-06-05T10:24:00.003-05:00

There have been only two times in my life that I have truly could not handle what life was handing us without taking it one day at a time. The first was two years ago when my dad had cancer and the second is right now. I am so thankful that I haven't had to worry about EVERYTHING all at once...maybe thats why God has revealed his will slowly. I use the word "revealed" loosely because I wouldn't say its fully revealed. Some of our toughest decisions are knocking at our door and depending on what we choose the difficulties will continue. God is fathful. I know he is. He has been...he will be...I have so little faith....Can you tell I'm talking myself up?

So whats new in our lives?

Well for one, Abby Petersen concludes her stay with us today at 1pm. We had a great time but it will be best for her and us if life goes back to "normal". She needs her mom and dad and Aaron and I need to time to talk and figure life out without the added responsibility of an 11 year old.

A dear friend of our family, Rita Lihaven, is very very sick. My heart is broken for her and her family. I want to hop on a plane to Abbotsford right now and be at her bedside and love on her kids. But I cannot. There is too much uncertainty and too much financial strain to do that. Rita's daughter was my best friend all through highschool. I want to be there for her and I don't know how to from afar. Several of our friends who got cancer around the same time as my dad are now out of remission and losing their battles with their second round of cancer - this saddens me on two levels. One, my heart breaks that these wonderful people are living through this hell and two, reality sets in that cancer comes back and sometimes, fast and furious. It scares me for my daddy. It makes me cry.

Lastly, we are still in uncertainty as to what God has for us. We have a couple options. PLEASE pray for us, that God will reveal to us his will SOON. For two months we have prayed this and now we are down to the wire and not certain enough to make a decision either way. I know God often answers in the nick of time - that time is now. We are desperate for answers. I am going out of my mind not knowing. I am ready to know. To plan. To trust.

Just so you don't think I am a total downer, I will share with you a fun thing. I dreamed that I was like the funniest person on earth last night. Someone was being mean to me and I had the best come-backs. I had the crowd in uproarious laughter. It was so great to be funny. When I woke up this morning I remember the things I said that were so funny - and in reality they were not funny. Bummer.

Turning a new leaf

2008-06-02T09:30:00.002-05:00

I am making a conscious effort to be positive today. Not an easy task for a melancholic like myself. But I decided today that every day of uncertainty brings me that much closer to the day when I'll have direction. At this point I'm caring less about what God has for us and more about just being done waiting. That is all I have to say. I think I will go post some pretty music on my blog soon. That would be fun.

What the?

2008-05-30T10:23:00.002-05:00

The best part of losing your job is when your employers then in their either cruelty or insensitivity parade your replacement or potential replacement in front of you. Dysfunction. Its a good thing they are dealing with Aaron and not me. He is nicer than I am.

Thursday

2008-05-29T09:55:00.002-05:00

Its a rainy day at our house. My plans include dishes, maybe one thing off my spring cleaning list, at least one time through the wiggles video, finalizing song choices for church and updating the website.

I kinda threw my back and neck out a little in the night. The tension in our lives right now has really shown itself in my body. I don't do well with stress.

Like I mentioned before we are currently "parenting" Aaron's 11 year old sister while her parents are in Thailand and China. They return a week from today. Both Aaron and Abby are looking forward to being done with school for the summer.

I haven't thought much about Aaron's school and the whole job loss thing lately - I thought maybe I was doing better with getting over it but then last night I dreamed most of the night about it. It wasn't pretty. There was a particular individual in my dream who kept making little cutting comments (which is actually happening to Aaron in real life right now) - you know, the "twist the knife" kind....well in my dream rather than holding it all inside like I do so well - I just went off crying and defending and yelling. I was glad to wake up. No wonder I slept on my neck funny. Oh well its nothing a strong cup of coffee can't fix.

Back to work.

Memorial Day

2008-05-27T21:34:00.002-05:00

We just returned from a little weekend trip south. It was nice for me to get away from "real life" and spend some time with family. Road trips are no longer fun though now that I am a mom. There are just too many people (and beagles) to coordinate and pack for that by the time we hit the road I am exhausted. I always get migraines when I am tired - so I spent our vacation trying to fight that though we still had fun. We brought Aaron's 11 year old sister Abby, Sam and Porter with us so we had a full car. On Sunday we went to my cousin Connors high school graduation party. Way to go Connor. He's a cool guy who plays a sweet guitar. They had good food and we split our time there between chatting with friends and relatives and chasing Sam around because he wouldn't sit still. Sunday night we drove down to my parents house in Spirit Lake Iowa and spent the night. We returned to Mt Lake Monday for a memorial day potluck with the fam. We all got our first sunburn of the summer.

Our life continues to be confusing and up in the air and painful and weird and exciting all at once. We're curious what God has for us...what he's trying to teach us and how he'll provide for all the crazy things he's asking of us. He's already shown himself faithful. I am dumb to want proof that he'll provide when He says he will and I should simply believe - even without seeing. But in his grace for my little faith he has given us little hints along the way that he is in our situation and that he is authoring our story. One night I was worrying....some of you say...of course you were Nikki, you ALWAYS worry...and to that I say "you are correct" but in this case I was worrying more than usual and I picked up the devotional on my night stand and it fit so perfectly and basically told me not to insult God by not trusting - don't I know he is greater than money? So I prayed that God would provide if he wants us to do the things we are starting to feel led to do. The next morning we woke up with an extra 1500 dollars in our account deposited from the IRS - they said I messed up my taxes...and that they owe me money. I have never messed up my taxes before! When I get out of my mundane watered down life and start to live in the abundance God has for me, I am reminded what an adventure life with Him is.

I am kind of embarrassed to post this because my thoughts are random and disorganized but I am too tired to edit tonight. You get the raw version...its like Nikki unplugged or something.

Feeling Funny

2008-05-23T16:20:00.001-05:00

I haven't felt right lately. Maybe its all the stress in our lives right now. I hope thats all it is. I am sooooooooo tired. I took three naps today. Not ok for a mom of a one year old and a beagle.

The Vision (By Pete Greig)

2008-05-17T23:15:00.000-05:00

So this guy comes up to me and says, “What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?” I open my mouth and words come out like this…

The vision?
The vision is JESUS - obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people. You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the West was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free, yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose that they might one day win the great “Well done” of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don’t need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…

This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting. Watching: 24 - 7 - 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mold them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.
On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate, but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days, they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don’t you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdos! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.

How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great “Amen!” from countless angels, from hero’s of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

For all you LRC homeschool moms....

2008-05-16T23:17:00.001-05:00

How does a Homeschooler change a light bulb?

First, Mom checks 3 books on electricity out of the library, then the
kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison,
and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history
of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles.
Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of
light bulbs, as well as prices, and figure out how much change they'll
get if they buy 2 bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill. On
the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also
Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five dollar bill. Finally,
after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the
woods, the light bulb is installed. And, there is light!

Divine Detour

2008-05-15T09:53:00.003-05:00

I read this article on the Elijah List, a website where prophetically gifted people share what they feel God is saying to the church in these days. This article is by a guy named Al Thomas and it felt like it was speaking into our uncertainty right now.

I WAS DRIVING TO A LUNCH APPOINTMENT WITH a Pastor when I came upon a detour. Because of the detour, traffic became snarled and I was barely moving. I checked the time and knew that if this traffic didn't clear up soon, I was going to be late. I almost fell into an irritated state, when God's presence came upon me. I sensed the Father saying, "I have placed many of My children on a Divine Detour and they do not know it."

SOME ARE FACING UNEXPECTED ROAD BLOCKS IN THEIR WALK WITH GOD...

Generally, everything seemed to be going smoothly for you. Most battles were easily won and temptations (although constant) didn't usually trip you (1 Corinthians 10:13). Then all hell broke loose. Those things that you used to handle with ease suddenly overwhelmed you and you wondered, Where did your strength go (Psalm 6:2)?

So there you are, called by God and following His plans the best you knew how, when things start to go downhill. Your spirit used to soar with enthusiasm, but now it is hard to get out of bed.

Fear not, God is preparing something new for you, but to bring it forth (here comes that word), pruning must take place (John 15:2). You didn't ask for this, but now you must fight the battle (Ephesians 6:11-12). You must bite the bullet and keep moving forward--tremendous rewards await you if you do not quit (Philippians 1:6). You decide to keep moving (Philippians 4:13). God nods His approval.

SOME THINK THEY ARE HARDLY MOVING AND SEE NO PROGRESS AT ALL...

You are wrong. If God would have allowed you to keep on the same old path you were on (Proverbs 14:12), you would have missed the opportunity (and blessings) He is about to show you. Often, God forcefully detours us so we will head into the harvest He has for us (John 4:38). Sometimes, more is accomplished in the spiritual realm when He makes us wait (Isaiah 40:31) then when we are "busy" for God.

Don't panic because nothing seems to be happening. He has pushed the "divine pause button" to bring you to Him and sit in His presence, something He has been trying to get you to do for some time now (Matthew 11:28-30). Yes, you are moving, only this time He is carrying you. Yes, progress is being made, but this time He is directing it. You prayed for this long ago, so don't fight it. You now relax...as He takes over.

BECAUSE OF THE DETOUR, DON'T THINK HIS PROMISES ARE POSTPONED...

Actually, the opposite is true (Psalm 138:8). Because God is taking you a different way, the promise will not only come to pass, but be fulfilled on a grander scale, because you allowed God to do it His way (Psalm 18:30). Oh yes, you meant well and your heart was in the right place, but God wanted to show you "a better way."

And because you decided not to panic and take a side road to avoid His detour, God can now speak with you about His plans and not yours (Jeremiah 29:11). Now you realize that you should have taken His detour long ago, but you couldn't discern the signs. You start to thank Him for the "forced detour" that He caused, because it will bring you into deeper communion with the King (Luke 24:15). You smile.

REJOICE, YOU'RE IN GOOD COMPANY AND ABOUT TO MAKE HISTORY...

God gave Paul a divine detour (Acts 9) and changed history. Jesus gave a few fishermen a detour and it turned their lives upside down (Matthew 4:18-19). God sent the angel Gabriel to Mary for the grandest detour of all--and because she accepted it (Luke 1:30-31), you and millions of others are now in the Kingdom of God. They and many others could have taken the "normal, beaten path," but they would not have changed history.

God's highway appears before you (Isaiah 35:8) and you need to start thanking Him for the interruption. Rejoice for the detour God has placed in front of you. Do not run from it. Many will be blessed because you said, "God, I don't recognize this path, I have never been here before, but because You say so, I will follow Your detour for me."

Remember, no one said you have to understand the detour God is making you go through...that will come later. As for now, take a deep breath, slow down and enjoy the view. Simply keep your eye on Jesus and He'll let you know which exit to get off (1 Samuel 3:10).

Lead Us Lord

2008-05-14T10:52:00.000-05:00

Here we stand
At a crossroads again
Like you said
In time the seasons change

Looking back
We recall the blessing and the pain
But now we turn our hearts toward
What is still to come
We want to dream again

Lead us Lord
Into a life of fruitfulness
Prepare our hearts to risk again
As we trust
Taking simple steps of obedience we know
That you will lead us Lord

Concert #2

2008-05-13T23:59:00.002-05:00

Tonight was Aaron's second concert of the year. He directed the Jr and Sr High choirs and the Sr High Jazz band at this one. He did a great job and I think we are both glad that he is done in light of what has happened. I had my usual ugliness and anger when I got there. There are two individuals who I cannot bring myself to look at or talk to at Bethany Academy due to my hurt over this whole thing. Am I being immature? Probably. My dad reminded me that the only thing worse than grieving something (like the loss of a job) is not taking the time to grieve and therefore growing old with that bitterness. So baby, I am grieving. I find it a bit silly that I am so emotional over all this - after all it wasn't even my job. But it was MY husband and he deserved more than how he was treated. All our friends and family members who have been in similar situations have affirmed that it IS painful - surprisingly so. Rejection bites. Tomorrow is the day Aaron will start telling his students. Apparently rumors are going around so it will be good for everything to be out in the open. Aaron and I detest "faking it" and that is exactly what we have had to do for 5 weeks now. Aaron loves his students SOOOO much and he is sad to leave them but we are excited to leave the hurt behind on June 6 - for good.

Time for bed. I know my blogs have been down lately. But hey, I have been down lately. I trust God that there is a light at the end of our silly little tunnel and I can't wait to share it with you guys when it comes.

The aftermath

2008-05-09T22:23:00.002-05:00

My title makes the evening seem much more dramatic than it actually was. We just got home and we are tired so this will be brief. The superintendent didn't show. Why would you go support a guy you just fired anyways?? I guess I'll have to wait to face her until Tuesday at the choir concert. I had a wonderful time talking with someone else at the school who feels about as saddened as I do about the school's direction. Again, my ugly side truly enjoyed knowing I wasn't alone in my feelings. That person will remain nameless to protect their anonymity but having someone listen and agree with me who is within the situation was salve to my soul.

The bands did SOOOO well. They have all improved so much since the Christmas concert. Lots of people seemed genuinely impressed with what the kids and Aaron have done this year together. Its nice to go out with a bang even if people don't know you're going yet.

Prior to the concert we went to the mall to get a new charger for my laptop since mine broke and while we were there we also went out to dinner on good ol' Uncle Sam. We used 30 bucks of our refund to stimulate the economy at Ruby Tuesdays and the rest is going to stimulate our credit rating by paying off a nice chunk of debt. While eating, I told Aaron that dinner was compliments of Uncle Sam and our Sam looked up and smiled like we were talking about him! It was cute.

I need to go to bed. I am getting old. I was ready for a nap at noon today. I didn't get one. Now its time to play catch up.

Goodnight.

Warning: only read if you can handle my ugly side.

2008-05-09T13:27:00.003-05:00

Tonight is Aaron's second to last concert. Sam and I will go and support him because we think he's pretty sweet at what he does. Since yesterday I have been dreading seeing the superintendent of the school...the one who "let him go". I do not understand her and I frankly have a lot of hurt anger towards the woman - even though I've hardly spoken to her. (I have seen her many times though she hasn't been particularly friendly to me) I keep replaying in my mind how I should act. Do I avoid her? Do I look down as I pass her? Do I look her in the eye? Do I thank her for sending our lives into upheaval without so much as a valid reason? I I waffle between being fake and kind to her or giving her a piece of my mind about her leadership skills. I know she loves Jesus and wants the best for the school. I even think firing people is necessary at times. I just figure that you owe your employee two things 1. an opportunity to try to do better (perhaps by sitting them down and telling them what you are unhappy about and then offering them some time to try to change) and 2. a reason why you let them go. I have learned enough about leadership in my job to know that your title doesn't make you a leader - your actions do. She isn't a leader yet - she has a lot to learn. Wow, I am sounding so mean today.

In other news. God is funny. I can't figure him out. Every day I am realizing he has some crazy different plans for us than we did. I am so confused. Some days I am totally at peace that he's Got my back and other days I'm emotional and hormonal and completely incapable of handling what he has thrown at us lately.

Sam is crying - I will go appease him.

If you are about to be the mother of a one year old please please learn from my mistakes...

2008-05-04T17:12:00.005-05:00

Do not...seriously....do not try to take a one year old to a church potluck. There is no way you can get through the line successfully holding a screaming child and balancing plates full of food for the whole family. Now I know you are optimistic. You may think you are better than me and while that is probably true, I still do not think you should try this. Once you do get through the line you are fooling yourself to think that you will actually get the opportunity to eat the food that you worked so hard to pile on your plate.

Do not (this is probably the biggest of them all) attempt to bring your one year old into a chapel service with 500+ in attendance ever. But moreover, you should never ever try this if the seats that your mother has saved for you are in the very front row, approximately three feet from the preacher. As a general rule, if there is a captive audience a one year old will try to get attention. In Sam's case he stuffs his mouth full of goldfish crackers and then dramatically proceeds to choke at decibels not appropriate for the naked ear. Your child will choose their own method of attention getting but the outcome will be the same: embarrassment and regret. Heed my direction.

You know what? Do not go ANYWHERE. It is not suitable to bring one year olds out in public. They cannot be controlled and you will suffer at the hand of mean and bitter women of all ages who act as though they were or are better moms than you. You will get stares and shaking heads or as I got yesterday, disgusted "oh my words" gasped at you or perhaps gasped "around" you as if you cannot hear. The safest place for a one year old is at home in the dog kennel...I mean at home where his tantrums can fly without onlookers!

I've just now realized...

2008-05-01T22:33:00.003-05:00

That private people and blogging don't mix. Every day I think of many wonderful, shocking or interesting things I could or should write about but then I remind myself that I don't really want to wear my heart on my sleeve or on the internet for that matter. This epiphany would have come in handy BEFORE I started the blog...but what can you do?

For those of you who don't know. Aaron is looking for work. His job randomly and unexpectedly has ended due to a change in leadership at his previous job. So what that means for us is that God is shaking things up a bit. He surprised us with this one...we didn't see it coming. We have options right now and we are really asking God to show us where he wants us. Please pray with us (all three of you reading this) that no matter what God chooses we will know beyond a shadow of a doubt what he desires of us. Its kinda funny to be reminded that God charts our course - not us...and its a great opportunity to communicate to him that we are willing to follow.

My name is Dadda

2008-04-17T21:32:00.002-05:00

So, today I (Nikki) thought it would be a good time to really buckle down with Sam and begin home-schooling. Our first lesson was going to be learning to say "mamma". I said "hey Sam can you say mamma?" approximately every 45 seconds from 6pm til 7:30. At around 7:30 I finally got an answer....he began to say "mamm........"then he looked up at me like he'd been caught and he got a twinkle in his eye and said "dadda" and I said "NO, my name is mamma" and he said "dadda!" and then he burst out laughing. Apparently his inability to say my name has nothing to do with his intelligence. It has everything to do with his orneriness.

Sam's Words 12 months 3 weeks

2008-04-14T20:33:00.003-05:00

Sam is beginning to grasp the english language quite nicely. His vocabulary now includes:

Down
No
Dog
Orter (our dog Porter)
Dadda
Nanny (my mom)
Duce (juice)
Peekagoo (peekaboo)
Hi

So why can't he just learn mamma? I'm only the lady that cares for him 90% of the time. Come on now.

Thinking

2008-04-11T08:50:00.003-05:00

I have thought a lot the last 18 hours about who I want to be. I want to be a Christ-like leader. Sometimes people convince me that I need to be a hard nosed leader...that I'm too soft. But when my teams are members of the body of Christ, not dispensable employees, I want to show the love and grace that Jesus shows and if it means I err on the side of grace then at least God will know I was trying to be more like his son. But after Jesus extended mercy He then was bold enough to say "go and sin no more". That is a hard balance in leadership. I saw a great example of bad leadership yesterday. I hope I can do better with the sheep God has entrusted me with. And I pray for all the sheep I know who have been bulldozed by people in the name of Jesus.

My husband

2008-04-10T18:00:00.003-05:00

Just last night I was telling my husband all the things I respect about him. I think that on this dreary Minnesota day he needs to hear it again.

Aaron:

I love you, I love you, I love you. God really knew best for me when he gave me you. My silly 19 year old judgement should have never landed me such a catch. I am blessed to have you. You are everything I am not - we complement each other so well. You are so social...you're the life of a party. You light up a room when you walk in. People are drawn to you. You are so talented. I can't put into words how gifted you are. I am proud to make music with you every Sunday and every silly little "gig" we do together - you know weddings, funerals....bat mitzvahs. Remember, you shouldn't be handing out those high C's for free! David Phelps and Andrea Boccelli get paid a lot of money for them. You are THE best father I could ask for Sam to have. He is a lucky boy - and he'll probably never appreciate it because you will be the only father he'll know....but take heart that I will know how lucky he is and he will be a better man because he was raised by YOU and no one else. I am sorry that today someone didn't take the opportunity to open their eyes and see how wonderfully irreplaceable you are. But God loves justice and God will honor your integrity. Oh Lord, I can't imagine how much you must love us. Even when we are dispensable and replaceable by people on this earth we are priceless to you Lord.... and Aaron, you are priceless to me too.

Rain

2008-04-08T09:27:00.002-05:00

I love the rain. I am a melancholic at heart. Happiness is a good cup of coffee, some Diana Krall music and the sound of rain falling outside. For the last year I have had trouble enjoying the rain because our roof had an audible drip. No damage had shown itself but the sound of each drip brought on worry that inhibited my relaxation. Well, the roof is fixed, the snow is melted and April showers are around the corner. Bring it on, God.

These are a few of my least favorite things....

2008-03-28T18:07:00.003-05:00

Grrrr. Nevermind.

Happy Birthday Sam

2008-03-28T08:37:00.002-05:00

On Easter Sunday we celebrated the Lord's resurrection and Sam's first birthday. It was both fun and disappointing to have Sam's day fall on a major work day for me. We made through a very strange Sunday at church and got home to clean and prepare for company. Our clan included Drunkle Dave and Auntie Rachel, Terry Esau and much of his offspring, my grandma and grandpa Esau, both sets of Sam's grandparents and two of his aunts. I think Aaron and I were so exhausted by the time the party arrived that although we were present....we weren't really. Its a good thing we videotaped. But it was a joy to celebrate Sam Sam and the wonderful addition he is to our family...and the amazing little boy he is growing into. He its ALL toddler now and sometimes he has so much energy I get tired just watching him from the couch. Sam is developing a bit of a strong will so if any of you out there have tips on dealing with a strong willed one year old who doesn't fully understand discipline yet - let me know.

Spring is almost upon us...I am so thankful we dodged one last snow storm yesterday. Today is Aaron's last day of school before spring break so we are all pumped about that...I can't believe how fast the summer sneaks up on us every year too - probably not as fast for the guy doing all the work but whatever. Next week we will road trip down to Iowa to see my parents...we have SEVERAL vacations we would love to take this summer. Other than our honeymoon we have only gone on vacations that are so busy that they don't feel like a vacation - (ie singing in friends weddings or doing okoboji) The vacations we dream of are: 1. Going to the west coast to see my sister and brother. I have never seen either of their homes and their patience is running out. 2. Going to Florida where Aaron's grandparents live. I have not seen them since our wedding over 4 years ago and I know they would really like to meet Sam as well. 3. To see our dear friends the Kruegers who live in Wyoming. They have a baby boy three weeks younger than Sam and we would love to drive halfway to see them and get a hotel and just let the boys play and swim.

Ok thats all for now. Happy Friday!

Spring Fever

2008-03-13T11:08:00.000-05:00

I have suffered at the hand of several verbally abusive friends a family members who are harassing me (under the guise of encouragement) to update this blog. So, as Sam sleeps peacefully I am sitting down to type. I am always amazed how busy our lives are, yet how mundane and un-bloggable it all is. You would not be a faithful reader of this blog if I told you what really happens in our life...we are boring.

Since the last blog we have continued our OTP albeit, slowly. I think Aaron is still down 25 lbs and I am down 15.5. I swear to you I have lost the same three pounds 6 times this month. I lose and then I gain and then I lose again. I am finally back down and determined not to cheat so that I can lose another couple lbs. I am only 6 pounds away from my first goal...a weight I was about 3 years ago. Once I meet that goal my next will be to get down to my wedding day weight. After that..well never mind after that, lets take it a pound at a time. I am overwhelming myself.

The sun is shining outside and I am so pumped for spring. We have had several consecutive days above freezing so the snow is slowly melting and it really brings me new joy and a fresh perspective. I can't wait to start going on walks with Sam and Porter.
This time last year we were preparing for Sam. I had a really long to-do list that never really got done because Sam decided to come a little early. He turns one in a little over a week and I cannot believe it. His birthday is Easter Sunday and we'll be having a small party that evening. I am determined to make a slide show/video of Sam's first year- I have been planning to do this since he was born but his birthday is sneaking up on me and all of this is falling the week of Easter which is always a busier week for me at work.

I had high hopes to think of something witty to say but I'm not feeling witty so I'll stop for now. As per your request, I will try to post again in LESS than one month and five days, Tara. :)

The Poopy Puppy

2008-02-07T14:47:00.001-06:00

Two posts in one day? Have I been drinking? No. I just couldn't pass up posting this story.

I was changing Sam's wet diaper today around lunch time. He kicked and screamed and threw a tantrum as he often does during diaper changing time. Apparently he would rather play in the kitchen with his toys than be dry. Being the passive mother that I am, I decided that I didn't have the energy to fight this battle. I figure what harm is five minutes diaper-less when you're on linoleum floor? Pee is easy to clean up, not to mention we buy stock in clorox wipes. So I decide to make a quick call to Aaron at work to see how his day is going before his next class starts. Aaron and I were talking as naked sam played with his toys in the kitchen. Seconds later sam crawls over to me and and puts his hands on my lap to pull himself up - I was overwhelmed by the scent of feces. I began to run around the room looking for the poop I smelled while holding sam out at arms length (in case he was the source of the smell) I didn't find any poop. Instead I found our beagle Porter lapping up the last of something tasty off the kitchen floor. So gross. And in the end I found that Sam had been the creator of this mess - Porter just helped clean it up.

Self Condemnation

2008-02-07T10:37:00.000-06:00

I am a no good very bad blogger. I repent of teasing my blogging friends about not posting enough. I am sorry. Forgive me.

It is a crisp Thursday morning. I have broken into our neighbors house to reset their internet. Their home smells like Filipino food. When they read this our friendship could be over. They will know I broke in. I left a muddy foot print inside their garage door though and since the husband is...um....particular, he would have noticed anyways. In the last week we broke into their house twice to fix their wireless internet which incidentally we steal from them as well. We stole their deep fat fryer one this week. Yes we still are on our diet. Stop laughing. We allowed their dog to eat their headphones several days ago. Yeah...just not a good track record. Right now their neighbor is in the yard screaming at his dogs like a wild man. Its quite a show. I am watching from my frost covered windows. Its very picturesque. Frost covered branches, snow flurries dancing in the air...and neighbor bob.

Today brought much excitement in our home as i was down another pound. The excitement fades when I ask Aaron how much he's lost. Generally for every pound I lose, he loses like 43 of them. I don't get him. He's gotta be down close to 20 now. I am down 11.

Sam is sleeping quietly and I am going to get back to work planning our lent services at church. We're not lutheran but I hear its the cool thing to do - so we are so doing it.

Ok yeah, peace.

Tagged

2008-01-24T14:30:00.000-06:00

Quick update prior to fun quiz: Aaron - 13.5 lbs, Nikki - 7.5 lbs.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Nanny
2. hostess at an Italian restaurant - I can't remember what it was called. Am I getting old?
3. Admissions counselor at Crown College
4. Worship Leader at Living Rock Church

Movies I have watched more than once
1. Princess Bride
2. Beaches
3. Dirty Dancing
4. Christmas Vacation

Four Places I have lived
1. Spokane Washington
2. Abbotsford British Columbia Canada
3. Waconia MN
4. St Bonifacius MN

Four T.V. Shows that I watch
1. Days of Our Loves (so sue me)
2. Biggest Loser
3. American Idol
4. House

Four places I have been
1. Scandanavia
2. New York
3. Missouri
4. California
Ok I've been lots of places but I don't know why those came to mind.

Four People who e-mail me (regularly)
1. My mom
2. Jon Wall
3. Rachel
4. Lisa Wolfe

Four favorite foods
1. pizza
2. onion rings
3. vegetables
4. steak

Four Favorite Beverages
1. Cherry Coke
2. Water
3. Iced Tea
4. Coffee

Four Places I would like to visit
1. Florida
2. Idaho to see my sister
3. Oregon to see my brother
4. Italy

Four friends I am tagging to do this
1. Porter
2. Sam
3. Aaron
4. Neighbor Bob

Things you may not know about me
1. I need new glasses
2. I go between being completely exausted and having insomnia
3. I have huge feet
4. I can't cry lately

Things I am looking forward to in the coming month & Year
1. Sam turning one
2. Keeping my house clean
3. Losing Weight
4. Celebrating Dave's 40th birthday

OTP UPDATE

2008-01-15T21:15:00.000-06:00

Well here's the two week update:

Aaron - 10lbs
Nikki - 6.5lbs

Sports bra pictures discussed earlier, yet to come.

Nikki

Indroducing Operation Tiny Petersen

2008-01-07T16:48:00.000-06:00

We proudly announce our New Years Resolution of 2008, Operation Tiny Petersen. Has weight loss been our resolution for the past decade of New Years'? YES. Do we still have hope that some day we will figure this weight loss thing out? YES....well more Aaron than me. I hesitate to even post our new plan since we a) don't know if we'll stick to it and b) don't know that it will work if we DO stick to it. But so far in 2008 Aaron is down 7 pounds, (clearly our MVP) and I am down 5 (a valiant but not quite good enough attempt). So if you are feeling encouraging, shoot us a message reminding us not to quit!! Perhaps we'll get a weightloss ticker up on this page or some biggest loser-esq pics of us in sports bras and shorts or something. Stay tuned. Until we get those pics up, please enjoy these fantastic, yet unrelated photos of Sam.

Something is wrong with me

2008-01-06T13:16:00.001-06:00

I don't fit in with most circles of women and every Sunday it becomes painfully obvious. Whats wrong with me? I'm not terribly interested in play groups or MOPS. I don't want to scrapbook. I do not go to Tuesday night craft night. I hate tupperware parties and jewelry parties and candle parties. I do, however, want to play guitar hero with my neighbors, hang out with mormons, and and have puppy play dates. Am I like the tom boy of moms? Aaron says that makes me a "mom boy". Or maybe I'm just antisocial. I prefer to be called "introverted"...it sounds so much nicer.

I need a nap. Add that to the list. I like naps too.

Christmas Eve and Daddy Claus

2007-12-24T23:02:00.000-06:00

Well its the night before Christmas and all through the house...Sam is sleeping, Aaron's getting ready for bed, Porter is chasing shadows and I have decided to sit down and tell you about our big day. We woke up quite tired this morning because just as we were going to bed last night at midnight, Sam woke up and decided that he wanted it to be morning. We got him down for the night at 2:30am. We laughed as we realized how much we've changed since college. We need our sleep these days.

The day was filled with lots of cooking. (A turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and of course, cookies for Santa) We also enjoyed some R & R which included a spontaneous decision to rearrange the furniture in our room and of course a break to watch Oprah. This evening we sent Luciano home (the dog we've been sitting for) after dinner and opened presents. Sam got leggos, a drum and some maracas. He also got tons of stuff from his Papa and Nanny Porter. Aaron got jeans and a sweater vest and the Blake Lewis CD from Sam. I got a lovely necklace and earring set and some much needed new underwear....what can I say, I'm practical.

The excitement really started after Sam went down for the night. I was almost ready for bed when I heard a noise in the living room. I went to investigate and found none other than Santa....It was the craziest thing. I was so excited that he came...for Sam's sake. Having a child in the house was new for us. We haven't had Santa visit our homes since we were kids! The strangest thing was that we went and met Santa and Mrs. Claus last week and had Sam's picture taken with them...He was a jolly man with a grey beard just like you'd expect...but the guy in our house tonight looked....well....kinda trashy...I posted pictures above to confrim. These were not the same Santas...I am not sure what happened to the real Santa tonight but our non traditional Santa did a good job all in all. He dropped off a stocking, ate some cookies, drank some egg nog and left Sam a note too. Oh and those new underwear I got, they are in the laundry pile because I peed my pants laughing when I saw tonight's Santa.

Merry Christmas

A Boring Yet Incriminating Post

2007-12-20T13:47:00.001-06:00

Well I promised some info from the past few days when I was being a bad blogger. Friday night we went to Aaron's concert. He works at a school as the band and choir teacher. This particular concert was the junior high and high school. They did a great job and are getting better every semester. Way to go Aaron! Our good friends the Ribars came too and we had a nice time out at Applebees afterwards.

Then on Tuesday I had a traumatic morning with Sam. The silly boy was within my view but he was around a corner so I could only see his little face, not his hands. From the sounds he was making I knew he was playing with a vent cover that he likes to play with. The first time he ever played with it I went over and inspected it to see if it was hazardous. I ran my fingers over it and found no sharp edges...I also made sure it didn't get too hot when the heat came on and it didn't...he has played with this several times and been fine. I watched his little face from across the room and listened to him running his fingers along the vent cover. What I didn't know is that he had cut himself on the cover and was spreading his blood around on the wall like it was finger paint. He didn't cry at all...in fact he was having fun doing this...so I had no clue he was hurt. When he got disinterested and started crawling into my bedroom I followed him in and when I saw the trail of blood, my heart dropped. I was shaking and couldn't make a decision of what to do so I grabbed a wash cloth and put pressure on his finger and called Aaron. Thankfully he was in between classes and helped me. It was only one cut on one finger...it was so strange that it bled as much as it did. I felt like a bad mom all day but the nurses hotline assured us he'd be fine and he was. It just goes to show even when your kids are in the same room with you they can be getting in to trouble.

On to happier things..Today we are taking in a new dog. Luciano, Aaron's parents' dog is coming to stay with us for several days while his family is away for Christmas. Lucci is a springer spaniel pup who has the best of intentions but the worst manners! He grew so fast that even though he is a puppy...he is a BIG AND STRONG puppy. When he jumps up he could knock over a lineman and it takes all your might to pin him down if he is biting or doing some other puppy thing. We have our work cut out for us, but we are up for the challenge. We have been warned to hide our socks, shoes and underwear...from the sound of it, I think I'll hide Sam too. We'll keep you updated on our time with Lucci.

Also in fun news, tomorrow is our fourth anniversary. I have a couple low budget plans for the day but we'll blog about that tomorrow.

Nikki

Perkins, Meetings and Dragon Tales

2007-12-19T23:32:00.000-06:00

I guess its safe to admit that I'm not a great blogger. I just really don't have time to write long lofty letters about my dull life. So I will give you a quick overview of today.

Woke up to screaming
Enjoyed two episodes of Dragon Tales (if you've ever seen this show, you know that the teacher dragon sounds like nacho libre)
Put Sam down for a nap
Got ready and loaded car for work (diaper bag, lap top, purse, baby)
Went to staff meeting (I will reserve my remarks on all things Living Rock to protect those involved)
Came home
Broke the garage door
Had a melt down
Whined that I wanted fried food
Went to Target, Byerlys and Perkins (for free fried food w/gift card)
Wrote this profound post
Went to bed

I will catch you tomorrow hopefully with some good back stories from the past couple days.

Nikki

Our Christmas Letter

2007-12-17T13:26:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd post our Christmas letter here since I don't honestly know if I'll get it sent out. I'll do my best. We also have a new family Christmas pic I'll post soon. :)

Its been several years since we sent a Christmas letter out. Our tactic is to wait several years storing up big news so that when our letter is sent its packed with excitement! Since its been awhile, I’ll give you a brief update since the last letter. In December of 2005 we moved out of the apartment we lived in and bought a small 3 bedroom townhouse in Waconia, MN. We have enjoyed having our own space for two years now. Two days after we bought our house, Aaron came home with a puppy - we named her Porter and she quickly became a part of our family. In the spring of 2006, Aaron graduated from college and several months later got a job teaching at Bethany Academy in Bloomington, MN. Of course our biggest news has been the birth of our son Samuel Avery Petersen on March 23, 2007. He came almost a month early - just in time to meet his Uncle Sean and Aunt Stacy who were in town visiting! He also came early so that I could be back in fine form for my Good Friday and Easter responsibilities at church! Sam is a very happy baby and he has filled our lives with quite a bit more excitement and lot more joy. His doctor calls him a “laid back dude”. We wonder if we should gamble having another child someday - with such an easy baby, what are the chances we’d get another one?! Sam is on the fast track to mobility. He “army” crawled in early October and has not looked back. Within a few weeks he was cruising along furniture. Then a few weeks later he finally perfected his army crawl to what we all know as the traditional crawl. He’s currently practicing standing without holding onto anything but he still has a way to go on that one. He says “mamma” and “dadda” but we’re not sure he knows what they mean yet. His favorite activities include pushing buttons on our electronic devices, trying to play in the toilet water, unrolling toilet paper, and splashing in the dog’s water bowl....in an effort to keep him from such things, I am hot on his heels about 12 hours a day. Yesterday I caught him feeding his bottle to the dog. Porter was thrilled - I wasn’t.
Aaron is in his second year teaching at Bethany. This year he enjoyed not being the “new guy” on campus. He has learned a lot about discipline in the classroom...a lesson that was hard his first year teaching when he was trying to establish relationships with his students. He teaches 4th through 12th grade band and 7th through 12th grade choir. I have enjoyed going to the concerts every winter and spring and seeing the marked improvement the kids are making each semester under Aaron’s direction. I am so proud of him. I know that some days have been hard, but he is learning important lessons of teaching that will be invaluable in future teaching positions, not to mention the experience he’s getting working with band and choir - something you can’t often get at a public school.
My year has certainly been an emotional one. Not long after the birth of Samuel we began a time that was filled with tremendous sadness. In May our dear friends from church lost their 23 year old son and we grieved with them and assisted with funeral music. In June my grandma Porter died. She was very special to me and we miss her dearly. She died the night before Fathers day and Sam’s dedication at church, which put a damper on that day for everyone - especially Aaron on his first Father’s day. I’m glad she was able to get to heaven in time to be with Grandpa for Fathers day. We were so thankful that my dad felt a need to get Aaron, Sam and I down to visit grandma so that she could meet Sam. It was only a week after we visited that she unexpectedly died and we were so thankful she was able to hold one more of her great-grandchildren and that we got a picture of them together for Sam to remember her by. This fall I also lost a dear girlfriend from church - she was only 29. I sang in her funeral and afterwards kindly asked God to give me a reprieve from death for awhile.
Although I still work at the church, the elders have been so generous in letting me work from home so I can be with Sam. I love being his mom and we have so much fun together. I have decided, however, that I am not one of those “super moms” who can do it all...you know, juggle the full time job, housekeeping, cooking, and being an attentive mom. Anyone who has visited our house this year can attest that the element that I have deemed least important is housework. Maybe my new years resolution will be to attempt the super mom thing, but for now, the house is a mess but Sam is played with and Aaron is well fed and I meet my deadlines at church...good enough for me.
As I look back on the year, I am so thankful that God gives us time to figure life out. Aaron and I have grown each year especially through the hardships. I am amazed to look back and see that things that used to shake our faith no longer do. God has been working on us and sometimes we don’t even notice! We are learning to trust Him in all circumstances and He is faithfully transforming us. I’m so glad He’s in control and I’m not...I mean, I can’t even keep my house clean! Our prayer for you, our friends and family is that God would be near to you this Christmas and minister His peace and joy to you - and that he would be near to you in the year to come, changing your hearts and making you new so that when you look back this time next year you can see that God was working on you too, even if amidst it all you didn’t notice. Merry Christmas!
Love,
Nikki, Aaron, Sam and even Porter

My Neighbor Made Me Do It!

2007-12-13T13:16:00.001-06:00

Well here we are, by popular demand. (ie. our one and only friend has encouraged us to write) It may have been wise for me to wait for a more exciting day to begin blogging. This entry isn't likely to make people want to read about my life...but stick with me, people, I will deliver. All our friends know crazy things happen to us. Its just a matter of time.

I guess I should introduce the family to you. Our MVP is Aaron Petersen. He's quite a guy. I call him "babe", Sam calls him "dadadaddadada" and Porter knows him as the guy that spanks really hard. He's a drumming, singing, trumpeting, diaper-changing, Italian cooking, band directing, detention giving, applebees waiting, impersonation doing, hilarious, barrel chested machine...and boy do I love him. I also live with Aaron's mini-me, Sam. He is a diaper filling, army crawling, tooth getting, bottle drinking, lady killin', weight gaining, banana lovin', raw-hide eating, mamma kissing kind of guy and his new favorite activities include splashing in the toilet and unrolling the toilet paper. We believe in germs at our house. Then there's Porter, the road trip dog. She stars in her own video series - now how many of you can say that aout YOUR dogs? She is generally a good girl...she just has a small glandular problem. Lastly, there's me. I'm not as exciting as the rest of my crew. I mainly sit back and observe. I am the introvert of the bunch and waste a lot of time trying to convince people of that...generally I don't get very far with that argument, but I will go to my grave claiming it to be true. I like to bake and cook. I hate to clean yet I seem to be doing it all the time. I play and average piano and I sing...I want to learn guitar. I am about as soft as they come emotionally, so I spend a great deal of my time trying to be tough to protect myself from hurt. I hope to one day find a balance with that whole issue - having thick skin when neccessary - yet remaining vulnerable relationally. I am 27 so I have some time to figure it all out. Somewhere stuck inside this busy mom and wife is an artist with untapped creativity and lots of passion. I hope someday to have enough time to explore that and use it to praise Jesus-the guy that gave it to me in the first place.

I guess thats all for now. Cross your fingers that something interesting happens for the sake of the reader...I mean readers!