Peace in the mess

I was so excited to wake up this morning and sit down with my big mug of coffee and hopefully catch a glimpse of Kate Middleton's dress on the today show before my sister-in-law D came to watch the boys for a bit while I worked. But before I had even focused my eyes it became apparent that Ezra J was sick. The thing that gave it away you ask? Yah that would be when he puked all over me at the top of the morning and then continued that fun all. day. long. So there were some "not fun" elements to the day....a whole lot of unsanitary elements and a few really precious cuddle moments too. Now both boys are sleeping and Aaron is graciously picking up take out chinese for us since I was too busy caring for the babe to cook. I am sitting in my 2nd favorite place, my rocking chair (asleep in my bed is my first favorite place), and breathing in the peace. The weekends are so hectic as it is but they get far more hectic when Aaron and I both have responsibilities at my work that I cannot get out of and I have no one to watch the boys (most baby sitters aren't fond of vomit) So I am sitting here wondering how it will all pan out and trying not to worry. Trying to trust God. Days like this make me wish I didn't have to work. Days where I hand sick babies off to other care-givers make me feel trapped....I'm a bad mom to hand the kids off and a bad mom not to pay the mortgage. The responsibilities are heavy and many. I so wish things were different in this crazy world. But they are not, and for now I pursue God and pray that the fruit of the spirit, namely, peace will be more evident in my life amidst all the messiness of it all. 4 outfit changes, 3 loads of laundry, 5 carpet scrubbings definitely equals a messy day. I also want to go edit this post so it is really poetic for you all because thats what bloggers do. But for now, I think I will be at peace and let this post be a mess too : )